Ruminations From A Man In Over His Head

Our midwife told Brigit she might not recognize Ziggy’s movement as anything other than one’s usual stomach rumblings (which might explain why Brigit thinks Ziggy likes tacos). Regardless, Brigit says she thinks she feels Ziggy moving and feels bad for me that this experience is, other than a moody wife, pretty nebulous. But, next week Brigit and I will go in for an ultrasound and see the little parasite for the first time which should make everything more concrete.

Anyway, as an observer in this little biological experiment I’ve been trying to imagine how life will change and how I should go about raising my child. I’ve plundered childhood memories of what I perceived to have been good and bad parenting examples from my parents. I now pay attention when news stories about children hit my radar (a simple explanation for SIDS on the 9 news at 9:00? I’m there!). I occasionally catch a look on the faces of my friends as they look at me. The look is like they’re hearing a particularly good joke for which the punch line is about to be delivered. I take solace in this demonstration of a sense of humor despite lack of sleep.

I really fear the lack of sleep.

The truth is I know nothing about kids.

I have a vague recollection of being in charge of my niece and nephew for a short time and realizing I knew no lullabies when trying to get one of them to sleep. I sang a slow song by U2 instead. Other than that I’ve had very little contact with babies or toddlers. I don’t think I’ve never changed a diaper. I don’t understand the point in talking to children (they have few opinions and the ones they do have are frightfully naïve).

When stuck interacting with a toddler I’m always at a loss. I have a stock joke where I ask them how they like school and, when they reply they’re not in school, I ask how their job is going. When they reply they do not work I make some comment about being a freeloader and a burden to their parents. That’s the beginning and the end of my material.

(In a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction moment, I just got off the phone with my friend Glenn who put his 2 ½ year old daughter on the phone to talk to me. The conversation stalled when I said ‘hello’ back. What do you ask a 2 ½ year old?)

Anyway, I’m told I’ll learn. And my friends have lots of opinions. And they’ve read books. And family is always willing to offer advice. Plus there’s Disney and Sponge Bob.

And next week all this talk and planning will coalesce into a digital blob nicknamed Ziggy.

And all that will matter is that Ziggy is healthy.
And that Ziggy hopefully doesn’t have a twin.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh

We heard Ziggy's heartbeat at our appointment this week, and now I secretly want one of those doppler listening thingies at home so I can listen every day! I wonder if put my hand on my stomach there if I'll be able to feel a pulse like I can in my wrist?? A friend of mine recommended that we try to record it, maybe on our cell phone or something, and of course in the moment I just didn't even think about it. Oh well, maybe next visit.

The heart sounded good at about 145-150 beats per minute, which is just right. Ziggy was active and flipping around a bit, making it tough for the midwife to keep track of the him/her, but she found it for long enough so we could really hear it and trust that all is well.

I continue to feel well, which is such a blessing. No pukeyness and only a little bit of tiredness. I prefer an afternoon nap rather than not, but who doesn't?

I did call Joe on my way home from Target one night recently in tears and warned him that I may not be trusted in there without a chaperone anymore. He responded with, "What did you buy?" I think his real question was, "How much did you spend?" :) I assured him that I made it safely out to the car with our credit score still intact, but that I had wanted to buy everything soft and fuzzy and cuddly in the baby aisle. I couldn't believe how lucky we are that I found the exact perfect blanket and sheet set that will complement our completely nonexistent nursery with the precise color scheme I've always been dreaming of for our firstborn child!

Thankfully we both have a solid sense of humor and my hormones have induced nauseating levels of sappiness, not rage. So far so good.

2 Lines!

Joe and I are going to be parents! What a crazy, wild and wonderful thing it is! As you can tell from the pic, on the list of items to shop for is a new camera with better resolution. Who knew I'd want a photograph of a stick I peed on?? It wasn't much of a surprise, after a few months of trying and tracking my daily morning temperature, I only needed one test to confirm what we already suspected...there is a bun in the oven! I guess we'll put the rest of the multi-pack on the shelf for the future (they don't expire until 2010, which seems like a long time from now...).

Quite quickly we came up with a name...Ziggy, short for zygote...so there'll be no "It" or "The Baby" in conversation. We both keep using the pronouns him, his, and he...wonder if there's some intuition going on or maybe we're just persuaded by the name Ziggy. I not so secretly would love to spoil a little girl first (they're just so much easier to shop for!) but will be thrilled to welcome boy or girl to our family and of course just keep sending up prayers for health and happiness.

I also keep adding a little prayer that there's only ONE little Ziggy that we'll be welcoming! My sister is pregnant with twins, and my dad, feasting on the competitive spirit that exists between my sis and I, keeps saying things like, "Triplets to win, Brigit!"

not funny.

April 14, 2009 is Ziggy's expected arrival date. Along the way I'll add our notes and try to keep everyone updated. Thank you for the warm thoughts, prayers and squeals of joy and congrats the past couple of weeks. We are thrilled and love that our friends and family are equally excited too.